Waiting with Purpose

by admin on January 26, 2012 · 0 comments

in A Next Step

Given the pace of life these days, it takes a great deal of willpower to slow down, and even more to just stop and wait. Patience is a virtue that few troubled teens possess. We’ve seen many students do amazing work here only to turn 18 and walk away from the school because they literally couldn’t wait to try their wings. Many make it, but many falter, and still others return, sadder but wiser. Some parents who have also lost their struggle with impatience and taken a student out of school have confessed “repenting in leisure” as well. Other students, who are just as impatient, nevertheless wait it out, seeing their commitment through to graduation or until they’ve completed their prescribed character education program. Their paths are invariably smoother for the waiting. “He that can have patience can have what he will,” observed Benjamin Franklin.

Those facing a decision are well advised to wait if they feel confused, or conflicted, or coerced. In her recent article “The Transformative Power of Waiting,” mentoring and recovery expert Shannon Cutts, says, “In any situation where an emotion other than peace is goading us to action, waiting is always an expression of wisdom.” We need to let waiting inform our decisions, especially major decisions, and act only when we feel clear, confident and at peace. Read the complete article here.

We talk a lot about change here at the school. The word is right there in our tag line, “Building character, changing lives.” As we all know, though, change is one of those words that’s easier said than done. Those of us into making New Years resolutions are reminded of that sad fact every time January rolls around.

Now scientists have figured out one reason why half of us who resolve in January to make changes in our lives are bowed in defeat by July. It’s because willpower appears to be a real form of mental energy, powered by glucose in the bloodstream, which is used up as we exert self-control. In other words, we fail because we simply run out of willpower. To keep our New Years resolutions, the researchers advise us to anticipate the limits of our willpower.

“People with the best self-control, paradoxically, are the ones who use their willpower less often. Instead of fending off one urge after another, these people set up their lives to minimize temptations. They play offense, not defense, using their willpower in advance so that they avoid crises, conserve their energy and outsource as much self-control as they can.”

The article (which you can read in its entirety here) lists 7 helpful tips for resolution-makers, which anyone familiar with the 12 Steps will recognize.

Set single goals. (“K.I.S.S.”)

Precommit. (“Stick with the winners.”)

Outsource self-control. (“Let go and let God.”)

Keep track. (“One day at a time.”)

Don’t overreact to a lapse. (“Keep coming back, it works if you work it.”)

Tomorrow is another taste. (“First Things First”)

Reward often. (“Hugs not drugs.”)

“God Help the Perfectionist!”

January 8, 2012

Perfectionism is one of those traits that looks benign on the surface but has many destructive effects. Like depression. Constantly falling short of your own expectations is demoralizing and self damaging. “Depression loves a perfectionist!” Or how about addiction? Perfectionists see everything in black and white with no grey in the middle. They’re either perfectly [...]

Read the full article →

Integrating the New Student

January 4, 2012

By Sid Parham In the Dark Ages that were the late 1950’s, I was sent to a boarding school.  There, new students were subject to the demands of older students, held doors open for them, were subject to large group meetings run entirely by students about school culture and spirit, and if one was particularly [...]

Read the full article →

This Spice Not So Nice

December 22, 2011

Here’s a P.S. to last week’s Leadership blog (“Good News, Bad News”) about the increased use of marijuana by high school students. The jump in use is even greater for synthetic marijuana. These mixtures of herbs and chemicals widely known as “spice” or “K2” were sold legally until recently, often as “herbal incense,” in convenience [...]

Read the full article →

Good News, Bad News

December 15, 2011

A study released last week by the National Institutes of Health has found that overall use of alcohol, cigarettes and cocaine among teenagers is slowly declining. The long-running annual report, called the Monitoring the Future survey, looked at more than 46,000 students nationwide. It found that teens are using less crack, cocaine, over-the-counter cough and [...]

Read the full article →

Help for Angy Teens with ADHD

December 10, 2011

Anger issues are part and parcel of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)—a diagnosis that a significant number of students struggle with here at FFS. As a rule, these students tend to feel and express their emotions more strongly. Many of them also suffer from the depression and anxiety that frequently accompany ADHD, making them even [...]

Read the full article →

All in the Family

December 3, 2011

Few things wreck havoc with a family like a troubled teen. We’re painfully aware of that here at The Family Foundation School where our entire program focuses on repairing the broken bonds between troubled teens, their parents and siblings. A critical part of our therapeutic program is family group counseling, which uses a systems approach [...]

Read the full article →