As we grow and live our lives, trying to make sense of our emotions, one above others often dominates. This emotion, simply summed up as fear, is a driving force guiding our actions.  This emotion is so strong,  it often misleads us into using other emotions to mask its presence.  Emotions such as anger and depression, are often a product of an underlying fear, which becomes invisible through the cover up.

Often times because of fear we try to control other people’s lives. We do this, thinking that if we control our lives with a strong grip, fear cannot surprise us. Other times we become an “approval seeker” content with others controlling our lives. This often ends up with us blaming others when things don’t go our way. We end up having unrealistic expectations of their responsibility for us, and therefore set ourselves up for disappointment.

On other occasions, we hide from our fear turning to other things. We live our day becoming non-committal, paralyzed, afraid of making an incorrect choice, afraid of failing. We than have ‘an out’ when things backfire, fooling ourselves that we are ok because ‘we never made a choice’.  Still other times, we rush blindly ahead oblivious to our surroundings – in an attempt to focus on something else.

Still other times we end up turning towards alcohol or drugs to ‘forget’ about our fears. This action is temporary, and often creates a host of other problems. These problems help hide our original fears and even cause others to manifest.

Unfortunately, fear is a part of who we are and no matter what we do or where we go, it remains, unresolved and normally building up its power over us the longer we ignore it.

We do not have to let fear control us though. We can learn to face our fears with faith and friendship. Remembering that we are not alone in our feelings, and while we do not want to control or be controlled by others, we can use our friends for support and guidance when we are lost in our fears.

A recent study conducted by the University of Texas, has found that “Clinicians should not rush to prescribe combinations on antidepressant medications as first-line treatment” according to Dr. Madhukar Trivedi, who goes on to state “the extra cost and burden of two medications in not worthwhile as a first treatment step.”

This should be viewed as a good sign for medication management – especially in adolescents and antidepressant medication – where the affects of medication can be more severe than with an adult.  Since depression is a condition that affects millions of Americans every year, and can be found in a variety of age groups, a study of medication and its effects are extremely worthwhile.  Unfortunately, this study is limited in its viewpoint because of the disclaimer “first treatment step” and that of course the study and its conclusions are only a recommendation.  This leaves a great deal of leeway for professionals’ in the field to still prescribe medication how they deem fit – meaning that many may start a patient off with combinations of antidepressant medication.

This also prompts me to wonder about the other various medications being prescribed today and how effective they are in combinations.  Take an example of a teen with ADHD and depression.  Would it be wise to prescribe, as a first treatment step, medication such as adderoll (for ADHD) and lexapro- an antidepressant medication.

The answer is – I don’t know, but I do have to wonder about the combinations of medications being prescribed.   Of course, the normal response is that clinicians are trained to ‘know’ what medication works with others – and I believe that – or used to.  This study conducted by the University of Texas sheds doubt on that because if they ‘know’ what works with others – than they should ‘know’ that combining combinations of antidepressants is unnecessary and therefore should not be done. Yet they obviously do prescribe combinations of antidepressants otherwise the study would not have been conducted.

Spring is hitting the student body at the Family Foundation School and after a long, white winter, the teenagers are responding in kind.  Unfortunately, the school – like other schools – have to finish out the rest of the school year with events such as SAT’s, semester finals, graduation etc… and keeping the students focused is often a full time job.

One method the Family Foundation School offers to keep the students engaged is providing a variety of activities.  With events such as the North American Music Festival for the schools chorus, or the girls softball team having their first home game of the season yesterday (unfortunately they lost), students often find something to delve into even if it is just to be a spectator at a game.  One common thread with these events though is that peer interaction is often promoted.  Students are not left to hide behind their Xbox, Playstation, iPad, etc… but are encouraged to interact with their peers outside of a building.  They can enjoy the sun and the grass instead of the walls and artificial light. Weekends are spent out on campus playing Frisbee or basketball, often having students playing the guitar or drums.  Sundays arrive with thoughts of a school barbecue for lunch – hot-dogs, hamburgers, etc… followed up with ice cream for dessert – weather permitting.

Still even with promoting outside events it is often difficult to focus on tasks at hand,  weather it is homework, a chapter test, or simply sitting in the classroom.  Getting lost in thought is an inherent part of springtime similar to fireworks being synonymous with July 4^th .  Yet with the healthy promotion of these organized events at the Family Foundation School, students are better equipped to handle the school work, often finishing out the school year with passing grades and moving on in their education.

There are frequent times when our emotions get the better of us.  Often we have thoughts about events from our day or week that upset us, make us depressed, angry, give us anxiety etc…  We often do not know how to cope with these emotions when we are caught up in them.  We turn to others and say mean things, offending some, hurting others or we may turn to self medication through the use of various substances.   However we deal with our emotions we often do not go about it with much thought.

One saying that I have heard through the years that rings true (at least for me) – is that “when we are at our angriest we are at our stupidest.”  Now ignoring proper grammar for a moment, this saying is true for our emotions in general. We do not / cannot think clearly when we are caught up in our feelings.  The first sentence of today’s reading in the EA book: “When tense and confused, I need to realize I cannot force-feed thoughts, positive or negative, to my hurting emotions.” This sentence says a great deal of our emotions and our interaction.

Unfortunately, when we are caught up in our emotions it is extremely difficult to think logically, to say to ourselves “take a step back real quick,” to look at the situation at a later time. We try various ways to “fix” things, to “correct” the situation.  We do this while reacting from our fear, anger, anxiety, etc… which is not how we normally behave.   We end up making poor, impulsive choices that often are incorrect, hurt others, and frustrate us further.

Today’s thought: It is difficult for us to have patience, and make correct decisions, when we are caught up in our feelings.

Often in our day, we get bogged down with the aspects of our lives and our daily tasks. Because of this, we end up slowing down our journey towards a future goal – usually in an area we view as self-improvement.  After we slow down, we get to a point where we stop pursing our task all together.  We often tell ourselves that it is just for a little bit, perhaps a week, a month, a year etc… and that we will pick up where we left off later on.

I have often heard sayings from a financial / business perspective such as “If you aren’t moving forward you end up going backwards”, referring to a business becoming stagnate and getting past by its competitors.   This concept applies to us and our daily lives as well.  Just because we aren’t moving forward with our goals does not stop others from changing around us; and it doesn’t stop our lives from changing either.

If you are working on personal improvement keeping up your momentum is a vital item.  Take an exercise program / outdoor activity as an example. You may decide to start walking to get in shape and be spurred to action.  You keep up your activity for a bit and notice improvement but then something else comes along and you stop your activity. Since you no longer keep your activity going you start to lose all that you have gained … in a sense going backwards. This simple example is viewed in almost all our actions on a daily basis. With no movement on our part, things often fall behind, get old, decay etc… even if it just from the passing of time.

Standing still is an action in itself; making no decision, is a decision in its own right.

My quote for the day:

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward.
Ellen Glasgow

Many times we become anxious, angry or fearful over the simplest of things.  It could be something as small as a dirty dish left in the sink, or stepping on a dog’s chew toy that will trigger a reaction.  In truth these items are not what bothers us, instead they are a simple spark that ignites what we are holding onto inside.

Many times we can pinpoint what is troubling us after the fact, after we work through our emotions and look into what is truly bothering us.  A majority of the time what is bothering us can be boiled down into a simple phrase – “Loss of control.”

As we go through our lives we are often impacted by things we have little control over. In turn we focus on things we can influence – i.e. the dish in the sink is something we (or anybody) can easily just wash. These tend to keep our emotions in check yet do not assist us with our underlying difficulty.

This difficulty comes back to haunt us when we forget about it consciously. Often we become so fixated on what we turn too that we neglect this emotion, yet it still remains with us, silently controlling our actions.  This hidden emotion starts to cost us in other areas. We often become distant with others, depressed, step on people’s feelings, lash out for no apparent reason etc…   These actions develop simply because we are fearful or become angry with the feeling of losing control in our lives.

In truth our feelings towards losing control are natural, many people have difficulty with accepting that some things are beyond our influence and no matter what we do items will always be beyond our grasp. What we cannot do is to have these feelings silently control us – that is truly ironic – to be controlled by our feelings, especially about having a lack of control – is the very thing we are fighting against in the first place. Instead recognize the feeling / emotion, realize that the feeling can influence  you easier than you it, make your peace with it and move on.  Spend energy on other areas and do not let this emotion control you.

Quote for the day – “Let us be silent that we may hear the whisper of God” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Depression and anxiety are extremely valid concerns in today’s world of mental health, and there are times when our own actions are the cause of the problem. When we avoid our emotions; mainly fear / pain; depression, anxiety, compulsiveness, and other disorders will manifest. It is understandable to want to avoid / run away from these negative emotions since most people do not enjoy dealing with situations that are unpleasant.  Unfortunately, the more a person avoids dealing with a particular situation the greater chance the disorder will manifest and/or get worse.

Often we will not realize our emotions are getting the better of us, they will often hide and point us in other directions. Our fears will create various distractions for us, such as video games, going online, watching television etc…  Virtually anything we may have a passing interest in becomes suddenly important and allows us to ignore other things in our life.

Things such as tests and studying are a big item for me. I would think of anything to get out of studying or scheduling an exam (when looking to certify in an area it is common to have the ability to schedule a test date for the certification you are working towards).   That didn’t stop the need to take the test though, or the fact that I had to do the work to be able to pass the exam. What it did do was make me anxious about the event; it made me feel guilty of not studying when I knew I had the time.

Putting things off – in my case studying – just causes other negative emotions to manifest and further contributes to depression / anxiety.  Leaving you not only having to deal with your original fear but any other emotions you developed along the way.

Thought for the day (March 21): If I begin to run, God, slow me, for I know You do not want me to hurt myself anymore.

Negative emotions can do a lot with influencing how we view the world.  One concept I have read, negativity bias, talks about how we naturally hold onto negative emotions longer than positive ones.  This concept makes a great deal of sense with various other programs identifying how negativity is difficult to let go, and unknowingly takes control of our life.

Negative emotions can lead to depression if we are not careful.  It does this by having us feel that we are awful, that something that happened is terrible, or we should react differently.  It changes how we think and how we react towards others, often creating a spiral effect that is difficult for us to escape.  Often times we end up at the end of our day wondering what happened and why we behaved as we did. We realize that we were different that day for some reason and things just did not seem correct.

These negative thoughts control our actions and use up our time and energy on things that we often cannot change. Often times these thoughts lead to worry and stress, affecting other areas of our lives such as our health. In addition, we get so lost in the negative thoughts we shut out positive influences such as a sunny day, or friends laughing.

We need to remember that many times things are not in our control, we cannot always deal with items right away, and that worrying about something often does not help.  We should remember that while letting go of negative emotions does not come easy, we cannot feel better holding on to them.

Most importantly, we need to be aware that how we talk to ourselves effects how we feel.

Thought for the day (March 18):  May I talk about myself, and life, in ways that are accepting. The gift I will receive is peace.