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By Richard Reeve
In his carefully scripted response during today’s press conference Tiger Woods began to face the music of his actions in the public arena. Tiger, unlike many who face similar behavioral difficulties, will never benefit from the gift of anonymity. The gauntlet of critics lined up for years to come will likely be harsh and relentless. The ten minutes of diatribe I tuned into on New York sports radio after the speech revealed a level of hostility that has little to do with the actual man who is suffering. It has all to do with his brand and the power it holds.
None the less, his statement today was filled with all the hallmarks of an individual embarking on recovery. He used the words amends, and demonstrated that he knows it will not be words but future actions that demonstrate his sincerity in learning to live a life of integrity.
Woods went on to state “I never thought about who I was hurting,” noting that he lived his life believing the rules didn’t apply to him. He repeated a few times that his failing was rooted in selfishness, echoing the slogan “selfish self-centeredness is the root of our disease.”
Woods also referenced his spiritual roots in Buddhism, indicated though a shared textual passage that he became lost in the world’s illusions. Woods said “Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security.” He defined his need to reconnect with a spiritual perspective to center his life which is another hallmark of a recovered life.
Woods made an appeal to the families and youth of the world to find “room in your heart to one day believe in me again.” It’s an interesting request because it recognizes that some will never make that room, regardless of what he does. Such a recognition shows a level of acceptance of the damage caused by his actions. A asked a student at our therapeutic boarding school his opinion about Woods and he struggled to express his emotions. Finally this student said “All I know is that I’ll always see him in a different light now.”
As Woods makes his slow re-entry into the world he will be mocked. I witnessed this a few weeks ago as airplanes pulled banners around the PGA event at Torrey Pines advertising adult clubs with the messages “We miss you Tiger” and “Rehab Special!” Again, acceptance will be needed to overcome the mocking. But not everyone will continue to taunt and mock the man. If he keeps his word a transformation will be noticeable. For instance, little things, like the cursing and club throwing during tour events will likely cease.
For millions that take up the slow walk of recovery, the promises are simple:
“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
These audacious promises are just as valid for Woods as they are from any ordinary Joe.
Finally, his insistence that he is learning to ask for help and that will continue his journey which has no clear time line felt more authentic then the many repetitions in his speech where he stated “I am sorry.”
Time brings healing, and as Woods noted, these are his “first steps.”
