The Family Foundation School Responds to Smear Campaign
If you have arrived at this page, we assume that you’re are interested in The Family Foundation School and that you may have read some of the smear campaign that exists on the web about us. If not, a thorough search of the internet will unearth it. You need to sort out these claims. We are now telling you our side of this story.
Who evaluates and monitors the practices of the Family Foundation School including advertising?
· The Joint Commission for Behavioral Health Care
· The Middle States Association of Schools and Colleges
· The New York State Department of Education
Who evaluates and monitors their web sites?
· No One
Who are these critics?
A small group of disgruntled former students seem to be fueling the issue. Through their web page and FaceBook page, they have solicited more “testimony.” To the extent that we can count individual voices the complaints are about 1.6% of our more than 3000 students ever placed in our care.
We are constrained by both personal and professional ethics from commenting directly on the issues that brought these students to us. We would point out the obvious. We work with students who have behavioral difficulties including substance abuse, oppositional defiance, depression, and bi-polar disorder. No one working with this population can claim 100% success.
What about that Congressional Investigation?
There was no investigation into the Family Foundation School. There was a legislative hearing in support of a bill regulating residential treatment at which one of our alumni volunteered his testimony. He had been working with a advocacy group called CAFETY which had lobbied for the bill. As is common in such hearings there was no rebuttal or chance for cross examination.
At about the time he graduated, Cornell University developed Therapeutic Crisis Intervention (TCI). TCI is a series of techniques to deescalate crises and failing that to safely restrain residents who threaten themselves or others. The Family Foundation School was an early adopter of this program. Since 2000, we have required all direct care staff to become certified in this approach. We support two TCI trainers on our staff.
Why do these alumni feel so strongly?
That’s not a question we can answer. The work we do is intense. We ask students to adopt some values that are not part of the current youth culture. If a student has started a recovery, and then slips back into old behaviors, the personal contradictions can be very painful. Reordering the past to relieve this cognitive dissonance is a possible outcome.
Also residential treatment is not inexpensive. Parents have often used college money and even trust funds left by grandparents to pay for college in order to attempt to get their children help. Twenty-somethings burdened with college debt may really resent this loss of capital.
Finally we have a bandwagon effect. These alumni repeat their “truth” to each other. The distortions of memory are intensified and emotions build. They convince each other.
Why don’t you sue for slander or libel?
The internet is the new Wild West. The laws governing its use and misuse are few and far between. We’d love our day in a fair court with real rules. The best legal advice we can get says that in any case of “internet speech” all the advantageous go to the libeler. We are trying to help families and will not waste resources in futile battles.
Like many others we underestimated the power of the new social media. Tactics like we are experiencing are common in the political world. Look at the White House, during the election no one had a better handle on social media than the Obama campaign. When Sarah Palin made her remarks about “death committees” as part the health care bill, everyone at the White House thought that it was so obvious an absurdity that they need not refute it. But conservative tweeted and blogged enough to get it taken seriously. The liberal camp does the same thing to mobilize public support. During the Bush years both personal and policy attacks were relentless from groups like moveon.org. Passion and repetition give lies life on the internet. Our only defense is a reply like this one.
How have you responded to Alumni?
In 2006, at our founder’s 50th wedding anniversary, we had an Alumni reunion. At that time we talked with many who had mixed feelings about the school. We listened carefully to them, apologized when appropriate, and took their criticism to heart. Alumni input has made us a better school.
We have met face to face with three of the four leaders of the disgruntled alumni and have talked with many that offer “testimony” on their website. Some have genuinely responded with a desire to work through their feelings toward us and have even adjusted their comments accordingly. For others, it is clear that nothing we can do other than close the school will satisfy them.
All other alumni have an open invitation to return and easy phone or email access to staff members. We form strong attachments to many of our students that do not disappear at graduation.
What are our policies concerning student behavior?
We provide a safe, structured environment. Like any social order we have rules and consequences. Parents seriously interested in entering their child in the school will find full discussion of our policies through our admissions process. There is no need to present them here. We need to note that all of the practices are reviewed by our accrediting bodies and that they interview students during their site surveys. Additionally, complaints from the smear campaign have reached Child Protective Services in New York. None of these went further than a preliminary investigation. These findings of course lead the smear campaign to claim that all of these bodies are incompetent since they disagree with the intent of the campaign. As Brian Lombroski, President of CAFETY has expressed his opinion regarding The Joint Commission: “it’s pretty meaningless without licensure. Better that you have it than not, but it’s kind of like having nice rims on the tires without doing anything to the engine when you’re trying to sell something.”
What should you do?
The decision to send a child to a residential school is a serious one. Read the material carefully. Remember how each side is held accountable.
Mostly we urge to come visit us with open eyes, open ears, and an open heart. If what you see, hear, and feel gives you hope, we would love to work with your family.
Turning Lives Around…
Some Context to the Smear Campaign (from the comments below)
Dear Rita,
Thanks for addressing the many lies and distortions being propagated by the alleged Truth campaign.
It is common knowledge that the campaign was started by a family member of mine who disagreed with my parental decision to enroll my daughters at the Family School. This family member has no children of her own, and maintained at best a superficial relationship with my children. She is estranged from her siblings and parents, who are all supportive of my decision to provide my daughters with the best help I could find. I can only describe my sibling’s behavior in pursuing and funding this campaign as disturbed and out of touch with reality. It is indeed unfortunate, both for the sibling and the apparently troubled individuals who choose to follow her lead.
The Family School helped my daughters turn their lives around and rebuild relationships between them and with me. They successfully transitioned from the school in June 2009 – one to a top-notch college and other to a top-notch prep school.
With my parents, friends, and partner, I spent perhaps hundreds of hours at the Family School during the 18 month period my daughters were enrolled there. I attended countless table topics, many sports events, choral performances, picnics -in short, with two daughters at the school and the many opportunities for parental involvement, I felt Family School was my second home for those 18 months. Every visit left me feeling that my daughters we receiving the best possible support, care, love and guidance available anywhere. On top of that, they received an excellent high school education.
My gratitude for the Family School is immense. I am an attorney and dedicated mom who left no stone unturned in trying to find the best therapeutic program anywhere to help my daughters. I searched from Vermont to Hawaii, making personal visits to several schools. No where did I find the unique opportunities offered at the Family School.
The Family School was undoubtedly the best thing I could have done for my daughters, and indeed my family. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and know that the truth will prevail – it always does. I pray that the troubled individuals relentlessly pursuing the anti-Family School campaign will find peace and move on with their lives, rather than remain stuck in their torrent of anger, denial, and confusion.
Peace to all.
Meg Sheehan
More testimonies from parents about The Family Foundation School
Next: An Open Letter to Colleagues and Referring Professionals
Return to Index: The Family Foundation School Responds to its Critics
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
This is awesome. I was so tired of dealing with the Truth Campaign. Nothing anyone did or said, save for closing down the school like you said, would have satisfied them. I feel this and Rita’s personal blog are definitely a solid approach at addressing their nonsense. Hopefully results are evident
I am glad that we are finally addressing our detractors. We should be proud of what we do. I know I do. I try to help people, teach history, and have as much fun as I can doing both.
I lay my head down every night confident that I have done the right thing and that it was, hopefully, God’s Will.
When I toured here, I felt some stirring in my heart. Not sure what it was. Even though it seemed different from any place I have taught before, there was something that felt warm about this place. I still feel that. I still feel that God has called me here for some purpose and I will continue to be here as long as His purpose calls for me to be here.
Having worked here before in 2000-2001, I also feel as if I was called back here by God. I feel so comfortable working here, I know I belong here to help these students in whatever way God gives me the knowledge to do. Everyone who works here has something good to contribute to these students. I am even amazed at the things that I have learned by listening to other staff speak. We need to stay strong and continue helping these students, even though our adversaries want the opposite.
Dear Rita,
As a 1998 graduate of FFS, I have attempted over the past few years to maintain a middle ground with regards to the allegations and “smear campaign” that has come from both sides and only comment when I felt it necessary.
I attended the 2006 “reunion” and heard your apology for the abuses encountered during the early and mid 1990′s. I also received a personal (although somewhat public) apology from Mike Argiros during that event. For me, the apology was enough. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off me- the weight of resentment. My resentment deteriorated because I believed that you and the staff had taken responsibility for your actions and any effect they may have caused and were willing to make changes. Furthermore, I had visited the school in 2002 and noticed significant changes for myself.
My reason for writing today is because some of your response seems to detract from your earlier apologies and therefore causes you to seem as disingenuous as your detractors. I agree that there is a small group of alumni who will never be satisfied- they still hold on to their resentment and would like nothing less than to see FFS burned to the ground. On the other hand, there is a much larger group (those that work with CAFETY including Jon Martin Crawford as well as many who remain quiet) who simply want assurances that the abuses that you have previously admitted to are no longer occurring.
I have openly voiced my opinion regarding “The Family School Truth Campaign” when I believed they were exaggerating or being misleading. This time, I feel it is you who is doing just that. Rather than attempting to impeach Jon and others by explaining away their “testimony” as that of drug addicts who have slipped back into old behavior or the like, why not admit your past wrongdoings as you have in the past. Admit that Jon’s allegations were accurate but that you have seen the error of your ways and have changed for the better.
As you know, the majority of your students are desperately seeking acceptance. It is often, one of the main things that causes them to be sent to FFS. One of the reasons why FFS is able to run the way it does (with students holding each other accountable) is because of this same phenomenon- because even while at FFS the students still want to be accepted (by their peers and the staff). What I feel has been neglected is the realization that these students, after spending the majority of their adolescence in your care, would continue to seek your acceptance long after graduation. Accept these alumni. Accept them for who they were, who they have become and why they are the way they are- and that means accepting their memories and their feelings about those memories. The “cover-up” and belittling of your alumni and their memories is the antithesis of acceptance and is only adding fuel to the fire.
A response to the comment from Jen J. is posted here http://thefamilyschoolleadership.com/2010/01/29/listening-but-not-silent/
Dear Rita,
Thanks for addressing the many lies and distortions being propagated by the alleged Truth campaign.
It is common knowledge that the campaign was started by a family member of mine who disagreed with my parental decision to enroll my daughters at the Family School. This family member has no children of her own, and maintained at best a superficial relationship with my children. She is estranged from her siblings and parents, who are all supportive of my decision to provide my daughters with the best help I could find. I can only describe my sibling’s behavior in pursuing and funding this campaign as disturbed and out of touch with reality. It is indeed unfortunate, both for the sibling and the apparently troubled individuals who choose to follow her lead.
The Family School helped my daughters turn their lives around and rebuild relationships between them and with me. They successfully transitioned from the school in June 2009 – one to a top-notch college and other to a top-notch prep school.
With my parents, friends, and partner, I spent perhaps hundreds of hours at the Family School during the 18 month period my daughters were enrolled there. I attended countless table topics, many sports events, choral performances, picnics -in short, with two daughters at the school and the many opportunities for parental involvement, I felt Family School was my second home for those 18 months. Every visit left me feeling that my daughters we receiving the best possible support, care, love and guidance available anywhere. On top of that, they received an excellent high school education.
My gratitude for the Family School is immense. I am an attorney and dedicated mom who left no stone unturned in trying to find the best therapeutic program anywhere to help my daughters. I searched from Vermont to Hawaii, making personal visits to several schools. No where did I find the unique opportunities offered at the Family School.
The Family School was undoubtedly the best thing I could have done for my daughters, and indeed my family. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and know that the truth will prevail – it always does. I pray that the troubled individuals relentlessly pursuing the anti-Family School campaign will find peace and move on with their lives, rather than remain stuck in their torrent of anger, denial, and confusion.
Peace to all.
Meg Sheehan
I have ignored the rumblings of alumni angry with the school for over a year. Considering the type of kids that have no where else to turn but a place like the family school, how could there not be some kids that stay angry and out of control into adulthood. My daughter went into the school with no future in sight. All options had been exhausted. She now is happy and likes herself for the first time in years. I can never repay the staff at FFS for the miracles they helped cultivate in my daughter. we are all so blessed that there are adults willing to spend day after day, year after year, with these angry abusive teens and find the warm, caring successful adults they can be. I couldn’t do what they do for even a day without losing my temper or crying. I have said over and over to many people that every struggling child deserves the chance at success and happiness that the FFS offers. But only a few lucky ones can afford it . Thank you FFS for your work with my daughter and her new future!
Carol Christie
The family school is a wonderful school! My son went there for 2 years and it has helped him through a lot of difficult times. Everyone at the school is so supportive to the kids and parents, and I can only say good things about the Family School. Anyone is free to contact me if they have any questions about sending their child to school at the FFS. It is a great place, and it taught my son many new skills.
Surely there is room for both sides of any argument. Whether or not you complain about the Family Foundation School or you praise it depends on what happened to you during your stay. As an alumni, I can speak on this subject directly, not as a third party, not as a staff or parent, but as a person who lived and breathed the program for 2 years.
If my opinion is omitted from this page, I will assume the person who monitors this site, and the school at large, has something to hide. If that is not the case, I will see my post up on the blog, and I will feel more pleasant about the people who helped raise me.
To the Administration who were employed during my stay, I thank you for helping me become a better man. You were never bad to me and I never felt abused. Confused, scared, bored, yes, but abused never.
What I did witness, however, was very profane language being used by otherwise devout Christians, in very loud voices. I did see children who had only used drugs a hand-full of times be labeled addicts, and I did notice how certain students were treated differently then others.
My hope is that both this site, and the sites that claim abuse, can drop the warring attitude and come to a peaceful, mutually beneficial agreement. As was stated here on this blog, no school that deals with such powerful issues is perfect. If you could learn from alumni testimony, would you read them? Would you honor the word of students you shared bread with?
Jeff correctly characterized the smear campaign as the actions of bullies. It is public knowledge that the smear campaign is being led and funded by my sister, Susan Sheehan, who continues to manipulate former students of FFS and other programs in what can only be described as maniacal actions being carried out with the sole purpose of revenge – against whom, we can only guess.
Unfortunately, Susan is able to fund lawyers and CAFTEY staff to continue a campaign of deceit and lies. Susan herself has refused all efforts to address her concerns in a peaceful and mutually beneficial manner. Both FFS and mutual acquaintances have offered to “mediate” Susan’s allegations, but all offers have been refused.
Instead, she continues to lash out in public, with such bizarre actions as mass mailing a slanderous letter to 4,000 strangers. This letter contained a blatant lie, that FFS is “under investigation” by federal authorities. Susan has been repeating this lie for 2 years, but has yet to produce any proof.
FFS is a wonderful community that has helped thousands of children and families regain peace and love. I have witnessed this first hand and maintain close relationships with other families and former students. Susan’s perspective, on the other hand, is woven out of whole cloth and bears little resemblance to reality.
Please feel free to contact me if you would like more background about the smear campaign and those promoting this destructive effort.
Thank you for the chance to share on your blog spot.
It seems apparent here that many staff feel hurt by the actions of certain alumni. That is too bad, and I’m sorry individuals become extreme and therefore slop-shod with their beliefs. You must feel as though the ‘Truth Campaign’ is a blow to your way of life, but I assure you it’s only a blow to your ego, and will never detract from the core of what you do.
What I have noticed is that both the Family Foundation School Staff and the FFS Truth Campaign Administrators use ridiculous, tactile language, much similar to language I have seen used in political editorials handed out by the ISO. Here are two examples:
-The term “Detractor’
-The term ‘Abuser’
Is there staff that would like to speak with an alumni who is neutral, and reasonable? If so, contact me. Meg you seem like somebody who could use a sound voice on the subject. I don’t know your sister, and I’m sorry you are now on such terms, but not everyone who submitted a testimony to the Truth Campaign website is a liar and resentful bully. If you were to refer to me as such, I would feel hurt in the same way you feel bullied by some alumni.
The term bully can be thrown around pretty easily, and it’s on the same level as ‘detractor.’ If there isn’t a staff member willing to look into the lives of the people they disagree with, they become like the alumni who are bitter with scars of the past. I would not throw a sucker punch or use violent language referencing the school, therefore I represent at least one alumni who can see rationally both sides of the argument.
What needs to be highlighted here is the foundation of the 8th and 9th steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. There should be at no point a practicing member of AA who refuses a chance to take inventory of their past and reconcile where is needed. Using blanket statements about an entire group of people is not in the spirit of what I was taught at the Family Foundation School.
Thank you again for your time,
Matt Mantone
I think its sad that this site exists. I think some are just to angry and don’t see how the school has helped them grow up. I know i was personally harassed by two alumni from the school to join the page. They just need to grow up. I grew up from the school, i guess they just fought it.
My son had a wonderful experience at FFS. I know it made a difference in our lives at home as well as his at school.I believe it gave him a wonderful foundation to become successful in anything he chooses to do in the future.I also believe we should all live the 12 steps.I saw him find clarity in his life.I have seen it in his friends too.He lives in NYC and goes to meetings everyday and has a large group of alumni friends.They all had a very positive time at school and return to visit as much as possible.I am very sorry this is happening.As a parent of a success story so far I pray the school gets through this.These economic times are hard enough.They don’t need a few unhappy alums with chips on their shoulders to ruin it for all the kids that have had or will have positive experiences.It saved my son.
After the death of my husband, my son turned to the wild side with drugs and alcohol. Add medical conditions of diabetes and epilespy and you had a deadly combination.
I researched many schools and put my trust in The Family School and have never regretted my decision. The staff of the school literally saved my son’s life and touched his heart that was so full of anger.
I have a B.S. in Psychology (2010) and am not an expert by any means, but I learned that even those with the “best” memories unconciously add or delete facts of events in the past. And they continue to build on them. Today, there is little confidence in eyewitnesses because of this factor. Now I am not saying that this is a psychological defect – it is a fact of life for all of us. A psychological defect would best be exemplified by Susan Sheehan, and my heart and prayers go out to her to find peace from her tormented mind. I also pray for Meg — you are a very strong woman.
There is no perfect situation in our world, but when you have a place to send your children to, with people who care, with people who know what they’re going through, who push them to grow-up and take responsibility, and who give you back the child you once knew — jump at that chance — miracles do happen.
I used to hold a serious grudge against my brother-in-law, but in the end it really serves no purpose — I have LET GO and LET GOD and life goes on with less of a heavy heart.
I thank God for The Family School, for Sid and Rita, and all those who took the time and definite effort to show my son a better way to live. I will continue to hope and pray for peaceful resolutions for all involved.
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